when the brightness fades.

whenever i am having a hard day, taking photos seems to somehow make it a little better.

i'm happy to report that i have only stepped on three of these army men.
and yes, all three hurt.
really, really badly.

K's tea party.
as you can see, everyone was invited.

did it rain?
nope, just the remnants of extreme humidifier use.

my.
new.
favorite.
photo.
ever.
ever.
ever.

the L montage.

he's always so happy when he's being held.
by me.

did i tell you the kids were taking a quick flight?
of course that means they had to pack two big bags of things they would need.
i don't think they ever flew back home but somehow
they are snug in their beds right now.

Valentine's burial.
B and i shared a few of our favorite memories.
D was quiet and K was busy flattening out the disrupted earth.
B and i did have to make certain they knew not to ever dig him up.

left brain-right brain.

something happens when you are extremely sleep deprived.
the first few days aren't so rough.
they almost feel a bit clarifying.
like using new laundry detergent.
the whites are whiter.
the colors more vivid.
you become very vulnerable to God's Word.
everything touches you and moves you in new ways.
you pay attention to all that is around you with every ounce of your being
and it all is completely and utterly beautiful.
you're more attuned to the sounds of birds chirping.
you even cry while listening to this song.
you run on pure adrenaline.

but then it starts to catch up with you.
and you become a big mess.
that's what happened today.
i did get to take a nap and also received some sweet hugs from D.

hopefully, all will be restored tomorrow.

it's not Valentine's day.

i was up all night long with our dear little L.
he is sick yet again.
not only does the ever-present threat of having to take him to the hospital
nearly make me sick, the gigantic possum i saw lurching around in our front yard
at 3:53 this morning also does the trick.

but, God is so good.
He really, really is.
not only did our pediatrician think we did not have to head to the hospital,
i somehow escaped a much deserved parking ticket.

while i was at the pharmacy, i picked up a bucket of army guys for D
and got out a little sparkly red notepad for K.

and yes, they were totally and completely used as bribery.
and yes, they worked like a charm.

to top off our day, Valentine has died.
i am much more devastated than i ever though i'd be.
and i'm being totally serious.
he was a part of our family for fourteen months.
he ate every meal with us.
D is sad.
K thinks we should get a new fish at the fish store.
i'm not sure if we are going to get a replacement or what.
what i do know is that we are going to bury him in our backyard tomorrow.

from all of the excitement this morning, i was utterly zonked by this afternoon.
i was so close to getting a nap, i could almost taste it.
but then, yep... you guessed it.
L woke up.

i would have liked to climb into the hamper and spent the day in there as well.

i did not accomplish much of anything today.
and you know what?
it felt great.
i have been a multi-tasker my entire life.
you probably wouldn't even notice me getting more than one thing done at a time.
i'm that good.
but today, it dawned on me.
i finally got it.
i need to practice the art of doing just one thing at a time.
i still have the words running through my head
that my sweet friend Jill used in her comment:
"I love how living in the moment means appreciating everything that is prohibiting us from our 'To Do' list. Tough for us planners. But so worth it."

yep, she's right.
it is so worth it.

"It is good to praise the LORD
and make music to your name, O Most High,
to proclaim your love in the morning
and your faithfulness at night,
to the music of the ten-stringed lyre
and the melody of the harp.
For you make me glad by your deeds, O LORD;
I sing for joy at the works of your hands.
How great are your works, O LORD,
how profound your thoughts!"
Psalm 92:1-5

goodbye cast.

what a great week.
it was busy but oh-so-wonderful.
i'm probably remembering that it was so wonderful because after a long day,
all of the children are currently fast asleep.
that always seems to help those good memories emerge.

he wants to chomp on everything.

the boys with their papa.

cuddling up.

when his regular bibs weren't clean this morning,
i just told him that real men wear pink.

dear cast,
we have had a lot of memories with you.
not all good, but not all bad.
we are so glad to see you go,
and hope to never see you again.
bye-bye.

the removal of the three-week-old cast was quite traumatic for our sweet K.
but who wouldn't get frightened when a loud vacuum-like cleaner with a saw attached was only going to make your arm "tickle." i'd say no thank you to that as well.
she did scream: "don't take the cast off!" during the sawing.
we got through it.
so did the saw.

first stop: the bathroom to scrub that stinky, stinky arm.

next stop: a girls only date at sprinkles cupcakes.
ooh la la.

there's nothing quite like watching your child share her faith with an adult.
when L's OT was here this week, K sweetly offered her some tea and cakes from her tea set. when the OT started sipping the tea K screamed out "you forgot to pray!"
yep, that's one way to witness.

we have one happy girl who can now bend (or not bend) her right arm.
it's the little things in life.

hope your weekend buries you in all things wonderful.

who's ipad?

look what papa got.

after adorning this huge hat at h+m, D pronounced he was a farmer.
and a mighty cute one, i might add.

L in the ergo at a photo exhibit.

leaving the museum and heading to dinner.

seriously making chocolate milkshakes.

my sweet boy.

waiting for mommy at the street.

our walk is more of a run.

the closest we have to a field: our neighbor's front lawn.

it has been so wonderful watching our tree.
the leaves arrive by the bucket load each day.

spring is blossoming everywhere we turn.

uh oh.
our sweet girl, watching some boys on skateboards out the window.
we're in trouble.
big trouble.

the mommy-and-me last week was incredible.
absolutely perfect for our sweet L.
the best part about it was that they recognize that he is perfect just the way he is.
i want to be in that world all the time.
actually, i think i have been in that world for a few days now.
that is, until today.
today it hit me (once again) that he doesn't fit into the mold that most kids fit so nicely into. today we had a regular check-up (mind you, the entire thing took just thirty minutes less than K's fun adventure) and i found myself flailing for words about his progress. it's not so much of what people in the medical world say but it's what they don't say. it's those quiet moments that are just a hint too long. those are the moments that i find necessary to flail for words to fill their abrupt silence.
but, i am learning to just be.
i am learning to just be silent.
i am learning to accept how L is today and not wishing or
wanting things to be different. i think in my heart i am there (or close to it)
but the moment that someone else comes into view, i feel the need to flail.
nothing i say in those moments changes what L can or can't currently do.
it is incredible when i enjoy all that God has so richly blessed us with. all of those simple moments and the small progressions without constantly desiring for there to be bigger steps being taken forward. i don't want to look back and wonder what life was like right now. wonder what life was like this very moment.
i want to cherish
this
moment.
our little L is progressing, and for that we are so grateful.

as i say on my sidebar:
i'm determined to not let those little mundane moments slip by.
the ones that distract you from whatever it was that you were on your way to do.
the minute simple moments.
moments to cherish for a lifetime.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7

dear iphone

K with her buddy, P. whome she refers to
"my P (insert P's full name here)"

Auntie B, the human teether.

this afternoon, i needed to put some of L's clothes away. i knew it would only take
around three and a half minutes.
total.
i know, you're probably saying "how dare you be so selfish."
well, i'm sorry, but i cannot be completely unproductive in a day's time.
anyway, i ran out of ideas on how to keep L happy
(i.e. content without my nose to his nose entertaining his every whim).
so... i wound up a snow globe and put it in his crib.
i have no idea where this would fall on the "safe things to do" scale.
i assume it would be way off that scale.
but, it worked.
perfectly.

D, enjoying some backyard fun.
oh, how i love a preppy look.

dear iphone, whose side are you on, anyway?
i clearly typed a text to B (my phone is on the right).
and he clearly did not receive it (his phone is on the left).
so now his iphone doesn't listen to me either?

and i shall leave you with a couple of clearly random thoughts:
i'm a sucker for duets.
lest you think that playdoh is harmless when wearing a cast. it's not.
i could only fish out so much.
buying shredded cheese has changed my life.

the beginning of our new reality

i just want to pinch myself.
God is so faithful.
that, i knew already.
but it's so lovely to experience it over and over again.

this week, we visited Great Gram and her putting green.

waiting patiently for some cake.

there are always
lots of songs
and
lots of laughs
when we spend time with Great Gram.

already fascinated by his brother's toy story toys.

early morning reading.

snuggling up.

this is a big week for our sweet L. this week, he and i will start a mommy-and-me class. but this will not be the average mommy-and-me. this is a class for special needs kids. this will be our first official step into this world not only for L but for our whole family.
this is going to be our new reality.
and we are ready to embrace it.

God has allowed us to be a part of this class and i know that L is going to flourish there. he and i will flourish there.

often those "why us" thoughts creep in. they are so subtle that i hardly notice their presence lurking in my mind. But God is faithful and He has blessed me with a few really amazing people in my life whose words breathe so much
love
&
Truth
&
encouragement
into our situation.
they turn those "why us?" thoughts into "why not us?" thoughts. i know that we are capable, only with Christ's help to care for our baby and give him the very best possibility for the very best life. it's at that point where i have to reexamine
what "best life" means and if it points to anything other than experiencing and then sharing Christ's love for us then i am forced to take a step back and rethink what i am impressing upon my children.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
Hebrews 10:23

and boy, is He ever faithful.

my sister (the artsy one) told me about this months ago.
i don't know why it took me so long to try it out.
oh, wait a minute. i do know why.
i have three children.
anyway, i finally tried it and love it!

there wasn't any sense of organization to our books before this so doing this doesn't mess up any system we have. plus, if i did have a system it would have been messed up long before this. actually, this new system will probably be messed up as early as tomorrow. let's just all enjoy the way it looks right now.

she's looking a little "material girl"

D and i built one of his favorite things this morning. actually to be fair, i built one of his favorite things this morning. he just watched.
making the forklift was tough, i'm not going to lie.
and what did he do right after i finished? he asked me to make a robot.

it's B's Gramma Pink's birthday this week. isn't that the
best
name
ever?
i love it.
it's so perfect for her.
so perfect.

since we couldn't celebrate with her (she lives on a different coast)
we decided to celebrate without her.
and send her photos of our celebration.
without her.

so, the kids and i baked a rainbow cake (from this site).

i was going to make white frosting to make the rainbow colors really pop when we cut into it but then D had the best idea.
pink frosting.
for Gramma Pink's cake.
he is such a good idea man.

it turned out really really well. i was both surprised and amazed.

i decided to post this because she doesn't even own a microwave
(yep, she's that old school),
let alone a computer, so she won't see this and have the surprise be ruined.

our house is clean.
just messy.
in my ongoing frustration of constantly finding stuff everywhere,
i decided to take photos of all of the stuff everywhere.
there you have it.

do you ever have that strong desire
to grow.
to change.
to be changed.
i do.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is
his good, pleasing and perfect will
Romans 12:2